Francis Michael Buck

That format is way easier to read! I can read it now, and interpet it. First: this should be rated at least PG 13 due to the sexual references. So ...

Before I review this at all, is this supposed to be the opening of the story?

I know what you mean. I was between two ways of formatting, but I was having trouble deciding which worked better. It's an conventional style and there's no real pattern ...

I actually liked the starting with "Yet I feel", it gives it an interesting...feel. But yeah I like it, it's deep and could be interpreted in different ways, and those ...

All I Want I don't want a lot, all I want is to be loved and rich and hated and famous and envied and lose it all and tell the ...

Nice, thanks for all the replies! They're really helpful. It seems height and eyes are usually pretty high on the list.

No comments? Just one maybe? Anybody?

Yeah, the whole thing definitely needs a revision, it was just a quick school project that I thought turned out pretty cool. Sometime when I need a break from my ...

The only way I'll see this move is by ingesting a bag of magic mushrooms beforehand.

So, I'm writing a story with multiple character perspectives, one of which happens to be a female. This female also happens to fall in love with one of the other ...

Yeah I suppose so. It reads quickly because it's a script, but still I guess people aren't interested in investing that much time.

I think it all depends on the book you're writing. For example, if you wrote a book taking place in China, filled with Chinese characters speaking only in Mandarin Chinese, ...

Like Nutty said, I think spending the time to think about how your characters would react in different situations (even and especially ones that do not take place in your ...

Jeez, no replies at all? Someone comment please! I want to know what other people think of this.

I think another important thing to note about this story is that everything Metatron says is his OWN PREDICTION. It's not stuff that has or will happened, but just what ...